Sonnet IX

It takes a village to manufacture
An idiot. He needs a foil of
normalcy to base his lunacy
on. Ostracized and pointed at so the
populous know - so they can be quite sure -
They are not he. There is not any love
for the lunatic. His problems, you see
are public, not on therapists' sofas.
My village, though, is short one idiot;
We've no idea who's crazy and who's not.
Rampant individuality rules.
There are standardized tests in all the schools,
But no one suffers not being the same.
I've been waiting for a title to claim.

I'm tending to my roses

I'm tending to my roses in the best way I know.
I water them daily - they grow in the sun.
I watch them and watch them; they never grow
Any taller.

The Hazards of Microwave Radiation

     hmm... what to do now?
I forgot what this was going to be,
but that happens a lot more
     frequently now that I've lost my mind.
Not completely - mind you -
Just mostly like that guy in "Princess Bride"
Although he was mostly dead and I'm only mostly
crazy like a fox.
I'm not sure what that means, but I like it -
I like it like a pig likes corn.
But I can't eat insanity - it's not thick enough
I could drink it or boil it and inhale it...
Oh! I could mix it with flour and
     Make gravy.
I told you I could eat it on mashed potatoes,
but I wouldn't ever put gravy on corn.
Well, maybe - I haven't had insane gravy
     that I recall.
I think I might like it -
     but I haven't had it that I recall.
I oughta make a cookbook
     of insane foods
- in 5 easy minutes!
And then I could make microwave meals
     of insanity.
Except for one problem -
     it wilts in the microwave.
And it doesn't keep too well when chilled.
Serve piping hot. Serves 6-8.
That's an average of 7 - and it's
an incomplete sentence.
Sentences begin with a capital and
     end with a period.
     usually.
Sometimes the punctuation changes and
Capitals sneak in with Proper Nouns.
I'd rather an improper noun -
at least they don't keep trying to
Start new sentences three times a page.
I hate them so much! too many
My name is a proper noun - a Proper Noun.
I've sent it back since.
Now, when it says, "last, first"
in all lowercase,
I copy it right there, "last, first."
Now e e cummings, there's a name!
Except it doesn't end a sentence well.
And the punctuation is important, too.
It helps break stuff up - y'know what I mean?
ITSBETTERTHANTHEROMANSWRITINGLIKETHIS
at least I think it is.
ISHOULDWRITEMYCOOKBOOKLIKETHISTOO,
drive up demand.
And that about does it.
I've suddenly become
Amazingly aware that
My last ounce (fluid ounce) of sanity
Has just wilted
In the microwave.

So Obnoxious?

Don't bring this back on me!
I'm not the one who calls the bathroom
     a lavatory.
I'm not mixing chemicals trying to create a child
     with recklessly abandoned.
This is hardly the way to go about
     studying developmental instability
As it pertains to middle-aged decision-makers
     in white coats.
I was not there when everyone voted to surrender.

I take it back - it's not a bathroom;
     it's a potty!
You made me change that.
Stop treating me like a kid -
And I can wipe my own butt, thank you -
I stopped sleeping in a crib years ago.
I don't need to lose these fights
     just because you cook my meals.
I would be just fine,
     but you won't let me near the stove!

     So what if I'm six?
I can't learn what you won't teach me;
I can't take what I can't reach;
I can't explain what I don't understand,
But I can speak about everything
I will discuss every word in my vocabulary.
How old did you think you were
     when you were six?
- You're the same age now
just a little less innocent
a little less ignorant
and a little less - no,
I won't insult your compassion
You didn't know you were supposed to care
I never taught you that either;
I'm sorry.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I 'm going
     to get a popsicle
          and take a nap.
I'll see you at dinnertime.