So Obnoxious?

Don't bring this back on me!
I'm not the one who calls the bathroom
     a lavatory.
I'm not mixing chemicals trying to create a child
     with recklessly abandoned.
This is hardly the way to go about
     studying developmental instability
As it pertains to middle-aged decision-makers
     in white coats.
I was not there when everyone voted to surrender.

I take it back - it's not a bathroom;
     it's a potty!
You made me change that.
Stop treating me like a kid -
And I can wipe my own butt, thank you -
I stopped sleeping in a crib years ago.
I don't need to lose these fights
     just because you cook my meals.
I would be just fine,
     but you won't let me near the stove!

     So what if I'm six?
I can't learn what you won't teach me;
I can't take what I can't reach;
I can't explain what I don't understand,
But I can speak about everything
I will discuss every word in my vocabulary.
How old did you think you were
     when you were six?
- You're the same age now
just a little less innocent
a little less ignorant
and a little less - no,
I won't insult your compassion
You didn't know you were supposed to care
I never taught you that either;
I'm sorry.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I 'm going
     to get a popsicle
          and take a nap.
I'll see you at dinnertime.